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VCO Berlin

by Dead Agent

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VCO Berlin 04:38
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about

I started this song in early 2022, and had every intent of putting it out that Spring. Instead, I am releasing it after over a year and a half of work, in September 2023. The extended timeframe was partly due to a careful development process for the song. It also provided me with the space to grapple with foundational questions about my purpose — in creating music, and in Being. I wrestled extensively with the emotions surrounding music for me, as a listener and as a creator.

For most of my life, I sought validation from external sources, relying heavily on the opinions of others to dictate the value of my work and guide my choices.

In 2020, I found myself in a cycle of self-destructive behavior, driven by my need to escape the physical and emotional pain I felt. This path led me to hurt others as well as myself. I chased temporary avenues of escape, and in doing so, moved further and further away from the person I wanted to be. And when I understood, I was engulfed in shame and deep disdain for the person I had become.

Since then, I reached a crucial decision, driven by the adamant realization that I could not continue on the same path, hurting myself and others. Supported significantly by the people around me, I understood that I needed to make fundamental changes in myself. Acknowledging that my choices had diverged drastically from my core values, and the gravity of my actions, has been an essential part of this journey.

I deeply appreciate the assistance and patience of those who stood by me during this transformative phase. I have been sick a long time, and I needed people around me to help me. With their help, I am learning again to live beyond mere existence. I choose to actively engage in the process of healing, aspiring to truly live and embrace life with its joys, rather than participating in an anxiety-driven life characterized by constant avoidance.

I hope that this music evokes in you some of what I have felt. Maybe it will allow you to venture to a place where we can candidly confront the darkness present in life, and consider our active choice to pursue a simple, profound purpose in Being and Creating.

Thank you for listening to what I made.

- Funkatron, September 13, 2023

credits

released September 15, 2023

Music, artwork, and mastering by Funkatron

Track 3 remixed by Blæc. (blcmusic1.bandcamp.com/track/ciudad)

Track 4 originally appeared on the Machine Music United 2022 Sampler. (machinemusicunited.bandcamp.com)

All music is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 (creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/). Contact info@deadagent.net for other licensing options.

Clicks n shit:
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Dead Agent: deadagent.net
Machine Music United: MachineMusicUnited.com

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Dead Agent West Lafayette, Indiana

Combining industrial, chiptune, synthwave, IDM and EBM influences, Dead Agent creates a unique style of aggressive electronic music.

Ed Finkler, also known as Funkatron, has been making electronic music for 25 years – originally as machine rock project Cult of Jester in the mid-late 1990s. Since 1999 Finkler has created genre-mixing aggressive electronics as DEAD AGENT
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